Hard. I don't know how to parent. I've never done it before. I especially don't know how to homeschool, work from home, housekeep, and joykeep all at the same time. I don't know how to explain a 5th and 6th reason for staying 6ft away from best friends and neighbors. I don't know how to monitor all the things all the time. I don't know how to limit screen time while also allowing for on screen school work.
Sad. Our children suffer the consequences of the lifestyle and path we have chosen. For mine, that means sharing everything all the time. It means sacrifice. It means being available all the time. It means sharing parents' attention. Now, in a time like this, it means even more sharing, restriction. Before, we couldn't have nice things. (not a lot, at least) Now, we may not have things at all. No birthday presents or party. No travel or vacation with family.
Lighter. We're taking more seriously the time we have together. We're dancing in the kitchen, all four of us. We're walking the neighborhood. We're looking for four leaf clovers and studying birds in the back yard. We're together longer. We're snuggling and hugging. We're reminding each other to take care of each other. We're reading books and working puzzles.
Open. If nothing is ever the same, that gives us a lot of room to dream of what could be. We're dreaming of music, gardens, relational connection. We're wondering what a world would look like if the grumpy neighbor had what he needed to thrive. We're naming the folks we trust to take care of us and to build a more beautiful world. We're not paying much attention to the things that don't matter.
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